Ok, this has been bugging me for some time lately. A few weeks ago I copied and pasted something on Facebook about mothers and their love for their children. Someone commented that some mothers do, but others don't. I wanted to reply that mothers worth the title do, but since this was posted by a man who still loves his ex, I decided to keep my mouth (or in this case, keyboard) shut. This has been bugging me for weeks though, so now I have a bit to get off my chest. (Note, I cannot speak for fathers since I am not one myself, although I will say that most of this can probably apply to them as well.)
I have known some children who grew up without their biological mother in the picture, not because she died, but because she up and left one day and never bothered to keep in touch with her children. For the most part, each of them turned out just fine because they had someone else in their lives to fill their absent mother's shoes, either dad took double duty, grandparents helped out, or maybe there was eventually a stepmother in the picture or even a caring neighbor/mentor/someone-who-cared.
Here's the thing I can't understand: HOW CAN A MOTHER LEAVE HER KIDS IN THE FIRST PLACE?! As a mother, I simply cannot comprehend what kind of selfish being it takes to leave your children. I can't fathom life without my kids now that I've had the privilege of being their Mommy. My children are my life in ways that nothing and no one else have ever been or can ever be. I carried them in my body for (roughly) 40 weeks a piece. I felt their first movements before anyone else outside of my body could. I remember distinctly what I was doing the first time I felt Bree's ticklish movements inside me and can even point out where I felt it. I was there when they first cried. I fed them in the way only a mother can do. I saw their first smile, heard their first laugh, watched them sleep at night, and have prayed for their health, safety, and happiness since I first knew of their existence and even a little before that when I was just thinking of having children. Being a mom was something I dreamed of since I was a little girl. I could not wait to hold my own little baby in my arms, to know that love between a mother and her children, to be the one that they want when they're hurt and need comforting, to hear "Mommy!" followed by the sound of running feet and the feel of small arms being thrown around my neck.
My dreams have been realized in the forms of my children, and they will continue to be a source of my dreams for the rest of my life. I made a life-long commitment to them: to love them, keep them safe, and ensure their happiness as best I can, for as long as I live. This commitment is just as strong as--if not stronger than--the one I made to their Daddy, whom I promised to love and keep for the rest of my life in front of our family, friends, and (mostly importantly) God. It doesn't get more binding than that!
Maybe all of this is why I can't comprehend how a mother can just up and leave her children. I dreamed of being a mother pretty much my whole life. My children are my life, and life without them would not be a life at all. A woman who can leave her children is not a mother at all; she's an incubator!
So to all the real moms and people who are taking the place of the incubators, I salute you and wish you the very best! We are raising our future, both as individuals and as a people. Good luck and God bless!
