Everything I Need to Know, I Will Learn From My Kids
Otherwise known as:
The Adventures of Jenny, Corey, Bree, and Austin as of Summer 2011
1. My shin and foot make a great track/ramp for a monster truck.
2. A dog and reindeer CAN get married and their kids will either be a dog or a reindeer.
3. TV shows can become books if you add, “said [character’s name]” at the end of each character’s line. Example, "Said Winnie the Pooh," after Pooh says something.
4. There is no better sound on this planet than an excited, “Mommy!” followed by a great big hug and sloppy kiss, except “I love you, Mommy.”
5. It’s always a great idea to take a nap when your kid does, even when he/she is no longer a baby.
6. Six year-olds can be extremely independent and self-sufficient.
7. A three year-old IS capable of outsmarting his 30 year-old father, even when said father is trying to outsmart him.
8. Three year-olds are ALSO capable of outsmarting their 6 year-old sisters.
9. Children are quite capable of fighting with their siblings, even when they just woke up.
10. Younger children expect you to be excited when their favorite shows come on, just like them.
11. One way to lose your first tooth is to pretend to be a dog and pick a ball up with your teeth.
12. Glitter glue will come off of laminate floors if you just scrape it with your fingernail.
13. Playing Go Fish can get old… FAST!
14. The sweetest sight in the world is the face of your sleeping child.
15. Cow manure apparently smells much worse to your kids than it does to you.
16. Kids are the best alarm clock you could ever have!
17. Waking up to a smiling or sleeping angelic face on the pillow beside you is wonderful!
18. Paper jewelry made by your daughter, no matter how odd-looking, is beautiful, no matter what.
19. Laundry. Never. Ends!
20. Cleaning/painting/housework-in-general takes 2x longer when you have “help.”
21. Even a 3 year-old gets the concept of revenge. He will ask you to whoop his sister when she hurts him, even when it didn't hurt much.
22. Kids can have belated reactions to their sisters taking their toys, even reacting after they get it back and they are holding said toy in their hands.
23. Simple words can be very hard to pronounce when in the mouth of a child, and the end result sometimes is something you NEVER want to hear out of his/her mouth again!
24. Some of the best bonding you can do is to rock your baby to sleep, even when that baby is six years old.
25. A plastic Jack Sparrow sword is ABSOLUTELY acceptable paraphernalia to cutting up a watermelon.
26. Apparently, your sleep habits reflect your lifestyle, as in the day Bree informed me that she leads a wild life because she is a wild sleeper.
27. Storms are just as scary to children as they are to their mommy.
28. Princesses do not wear crowns to bed if they are wild sleepers.
29. It is possible to fall asleep with a sucker in your mouth (or on your eyelid).
30. Some dogs will put up with ANYTHING your child can dish out and were meant to be owned by a child.
31. To stop a dog’s ear from bleeding after being snipped with scissors by your daughter, put a little flour on it. It acts as a coagulant. (Then see #29.)
32. It’s great to relive some of your favorite cartoons and movies with your little ones.
33. On the same token, it’s equally gratifying to get excited about their movies and cartoons (like when a new Winnie the Pooh movie comes out in theaters).
34. There comes a point in time when your singing is no longer pleasant to your child’s ears. Sometimes they wait until they’re teenagers, sometimes it starts when they’re three.
35. Even three year-olds can get mad and call their sister by her first and middle names.
36. Six year-old girls want to pee off the porch like their little brothers are capable of, but have no interest in doing, and sometimes will try to convince said little brother to pee on a bee.
37. Sometimes little brothers do not do what their big sisters tell them to. (Thank goodness!)
38. Sometimes telling your three year-old son to sit still is like telling Cinderella Castle in Disney World to get up and run away.
39. If you ever think your kids aren’t well-behaved, just go to Disney World and watch other people’s kids. You learn to appreciate yours really fast!
40. Threatening to tell Mickey Mouse about misbehavior actually works on a three year-old.
41. Sometimes a kid doesn’t want to be squirted by squirt fans—unless he does it himself.
42. The most simple of rides at Disney World is most likely going to be your kids’ favorite, like the TTA.
43. You should ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT have a camera ready to roll at all times when you have kids, but especially at Disney World. You never know when your daughter is going to hold hands with Tigger and start bouncing.
44. Want a skinny pic of yourself? Let your six year-old daughter take it with your cell phone. It will be blurry, but you will look 25 pounds lighter!
45. Kids not used to housekeepers will sometimes think their toys came to life and changed things in your absence.
46. It is hilarious when your son keeps telling you that his name is not (fill in the blank), his name is Austin!!
47. A child will make you research what rolly pollies actually eat.
48. Sitting at home is much more rewarding when you’re sitting at home with your kids and hubby.
49. Kids can make up the best songs for Mother’s Day.
Last, but NOT least:
50. Life is so much more rewarding and fulfilling when you have children!
